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drinking in the dark

helper monkeys rule

Selected guidelines from the Transportation Security Administration on the handling of monkey helpers at security checkpoints.

Monkey Helpers

  • When the handler and monkey go through the WTMD and the WTMD alarms, both the handler and the monkey must undergo additional screening.
  • Since monkeys may likely draw attention, the handler will be escorted to the physical inspection area where a table is available for the monkey to sit on. Only the handler will touch or interact with the monkey.
  • TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process.
  • The inspection process may require that the handler take off the monkey’s diaper as part of the visual inspection.

apparently, this was on boingboing, but I learned of it only in conversation related to air travel last week. I could hardly believe that helper monkeys existed, let alone that they posed such security risks!

related: A story on All Things Considered about a real retired helper monkey [npr]


"TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process."
Is priceless in a fourth-grade sort of way.
how amazing it must have been to participate in the meeting when these guidelines were drafted.

Berühren Sie meinen Affen, lieben Sie meinen Affen!!!!
google thinks this means "If you affect my ape, let us love mean apes!!!! "
google is confused... I used the merriam-webster translator.

Though I kind of like the way google thinks.
your text message this morning changed my life, i think.