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Ah. It's that very special time of year when we break out the bourbon and grep the Stranger Valentines [#] for our own names.

ambiguously to me!

JOSHUA ♥♥ As always, and forever, I'm yours.

JOSH ♥♥ I will always be in love with you. Love, sweetpea

JOSHUA E. ♥♥ Likes girls that are Chinese. And frozen peas. Loves to annoy Bookums our kitty. He is so very pretty! And witty! And bright! XOXO L.C.

JOSH ♥♥ If you're good I'll let you fuck me up the ass this year! Teehee Love you, Amy

JOSH FROM EMERY ♥♥ I just want you to know that I think you're perfect. And to me, that makes you more beautiful than anything. -Anonymous

JOSH C.W. ♥♥ Still think about you.

JOSH ♥♥ You're my dream come true! I love you more than words can express. I will just have to spend my whole lifetime showing you how much you mean. Xoxosweetpea

JOSHY BOO BOO ♥♥ I love you! Ditch your prude girlfriend and we'll fuck. I've heard you're the clit master and I'm curious. I'll be your hot mama at M4E.

JOSH ♥♥ For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. Happy Commercialized Holiday ~Tia

JOSH ♥♥ I love it when you smack my ass, treat me with class, how you kiss goodnight, hold me tight, you complement me, and have everything I need, 1VAL05 Juana

ambiguously from me!

MY LIFE WOULDN'T ♥♥ be so great without you. Thanks for the love and friendship Boudreaux, Larry, Java, Sue, and Wes! Deeply, Josh

JESSICA ♥♥ The moment I met you left me a little delirious and gotarded. I thank you for every bewildering minute of it. I love you kitten, Josh

NAHPI AND GINGER! ♥♥ I love you girls! -Josh

Really. It's not that it's fun to pretend to be stalked. It's just that it takes way too much effort to read all of them -- why not be a little self-centered?

lazyweb (updated):

For easy lookup, I put all of the entries in a single file [valentines.html] -- someone should make evan made a Search-O-Matic (http://neugierig.org/content/valentines/).


i really want
JOSHY BOO BOO ♥♥ I love you! Ditch your prude girlfriend and we'll fuck.
JOSH ♥♥ For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
to be different girls writing to the same guy.
Maybe the drama will play out in next week's I SAW U's.

incidentally, my favorite of "yours" is this one -->

EVAN ♥♥ Yr not that anuscent. xo Sara

so if i got one, and i didn't read them, then would that mean that i didn't get one?
it's the modern "if a tree falls in the forest ... " koan, isn't it?
yeah, pretty much
someone should make a Search-O-Matic for these.

you mean like, "Ctrl+F" (in Firefox)?
yeah. that works, too.

but something where you type your name, and only the lines that match it show up. fancy.
that's about 100 times fancier than I imagined!

looking a gift horse in the mouth

any idea why it doesn't catch all of the results for a search?

(not that I'm complaining, you saved me from any impulse of stayed up way too late trying to learn how to do it myself)



(this is what happens when you wait until 1:30 to read livejournal)

in the "i'm so happy these aren't for me" department:

JULIE F. ♥♥ You make my heart go all thumpy and when you grumpy and whippy, my thang gets all trippy. You wet my sex! Yr Scrt Admrer

JULIE IS THE ♥♥ Eeyore to my Pooh. Come over to my treehouse - I've got some honey for you.

And the winner:

JULIE ♥♥ I bleed for you. Can't wait until you cut me again.

Re: in the "i'm so happy these aren't for me" department:

yeah. knowing that that poem about chinese girls and peas (among the other gems) wasn't for me was a highlight of the evening.



Re: hahaha

awesome. and I thought you forgot!
his search omatic either sucks or doesn't include all the valentines.
Definitely doesn't suck, but also definitely doesn't include them all.
battle of the lazyweb search-o-matics!

this thread exclusively features b&w user icons.
yeah doesn't suck.. i was just disappointed that mine weren't in that :-(
You are one popular guy!

Are the valentines on the thestranger.com all the valentines that were in the paper or just some of them?
I'm sure it has nothing to do with having a common name!

I don't know whether all of them are on the site. As an experiment, I flipped through the pages, picked a valentine, and looked it up on the search-o-matic. Though the sample size was small and non-random, all selected paper valentines were also included in the web version.

I don't know if the same can be said of the web (i.e., are there more valentines on the web than in print) and will leave that question to the lazyweb!
You need to learn how to pump your ego, common name or not.